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AMSL Premium Membership Sweepstakes Thread

Fastshow

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STD had the clever idea of creating a thread in which non-Premium Members (tight bastards) can post their reasons for not having coughed up the $35 for Premium Membership. The AMSL has very kindly offered two (shiny) Premium Memberships on TTP and the rules are simple........ tell those of us in TTP Towers why you have yet to fully support Vancouver's second-best website. Use as many words as you like (big words are better), use as many pictures as you like, do what you fcuking like....... just make it readable and, dare I say, funny and you'll win a TTP Premium Membership and be allowed in with the grown-ups......

Post your stories and reason with us here

Good luck to all and for fcuk's sake, let's have more than two entries (said the vicar).
 

Dial 9-1-1

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I've been contemplating getting a membership for quite a long time now. Not because I need an avatar, or that I need to PM anybody, because no one ever PMs me. And it's not because I like to post pictures ;) , or edit my post after the fact, becasue I cann spell good.. I've wanted to get a full time membership because it will help support TTP. And without TTP, what would the Regs, and KNVBs, and Fastshows of the world do? I'm assuming not very much. What would the Conductor do for enjoyment? Would he still call me and say, "You've got to check out TTP. SC just slammed you. You're not going to take that are you? Here's what I want you to post." And what about the poor blokes of the world like theRob and Yoda? Would they still feel wanted and accepted without TTP? TTP is Yoda's ticket to unofficially being a Dragon/Cheatsider. It's theRob's ticket to finally getting to each lunch at the table with all the cool kids.

But then I thought...you're going to pay $35 so that you can read other people call you a wanker, or a whiner, or a tryhard. I may be stupid, but I'm not an idiot.

Anyhow...whether I win this free membership or not, next time I see Regs, I'll give him $35. It would be a shame to not have this website.
 

Fastshow

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A thunderous beginning to the best TTP compo this week. Apart from the Premium Member's Raffle. And that other draw.

Points for honesty though some taken back due to Dial 9-1-1 not using the specially designed link and, instead, posting his entry in here. More points given for having the balls, the gumption, the get-up-and-away-we-fcuking-go to post first. No one likes going first. Just look at Ranger Forever in the TTP Golf Extravaganza. Poor teamless sod.

Let it be noted that bribery will not be tolerated, however subtle Dial 9-1-1's insinuation of a payment whether he won or not was. Well done in putting yourself on the hook, sunshine. Or, as The Rob would say (and The Yoda would parrot) for reasons unknown, nicely.

Instead, of course, bribery will be actively encouraged, respected, and admired. We just won't tolerate it.

The bar has been set, who's next?
 

SC

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Jul 28, 2001
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I can't believe no one has mentioned the nude photos... Premium Membership has it's advantanges... :wa:
 

STD

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I would have replied where you wanted me to but the graph confused me and brought back nightmares from my last year at school (boy grade nine was hard).

When the call for all cheap cnuts came to buck up and become a premium member to support the sight I said to myself, self you don't use the sight enough yet to justify depriving yourself of 14 ice cold beers. But when I hit 100 posts I will become a member. In the meantime I decided to investigate the site more to see what my not so hard earned money will be supporting. This was the results:

KNVB is a cnut
Dude loves himself too much to be considered healthy
Rangerforever is a fat bastard and has illigitimate children all over the place
TheRob is a dictator
Anybody involved with the Blackknights is an idiot

I could go on but my post would never end.

I started to wonder if I would be able to sleep at night knowing my not so hard earned money was supporting a sight that supported so many bad things. That night I had a dream that man was not judged by the colour of his skin but by the content of his character, just then The Rob said get back on topic so I had another dream. In this dream everybody loved one another and did things out of the kindness of their heart. It was a society where there is no money and everyone is equall and contributes to the betterment of the community. There is no mine or yours but ours. I could go on and I know you really want me to but the point being that all my time, energy and rescourses are going in to creating this society. If anyone wants to join me all is welcome you just have to be female and willing to love one another over and over again.

stdwillbetakingbackhisemtiestobecomeamemberatsomepointinthefuture
 

Fastshow

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Interesting. An admission of being ill-educated (though, at Grade 9, still vastly more cerebral than most of the new crop of TTP'ers) yet littered with clever red herrings, the most blatant is the unsure spelling of the actual site and the wavering between 'sight' and 'site'. I will not be fooled. Well, not by you anyway. Someone who knows how to spell cnut yet not site is messing with me. And, as my ex-wife will attest (she's listed in the phone book), I will not be messed with. I'm onto you.


I'd also be interested to know what kind of beer you drink if you can buy 14 for $35. Cheapest pint I can find is at the Wetherspoon's over the road and even then you're supping Carling at £1.80 a pint (and that's only on Tuesdays, that famous drinking day). Wetherspoon's is also a shithole populated by whingeing old men who smell of nitrous oxide. I don't think I'd enjoy your beer.

I agree with your profiling of the TTP doyens you described for the most part though KNVB is not a cnut, simply a misunderstood twat, Dude has to love himself as he missus quite clearly cannot stand him (Hi The Rob if you've managed to read this far down!!!), is it not suitable, if RF is indeed a bastard, for him to have other bastards roaming the earth, The Rob (Hi, buddy!!!) is German and, as a result, his penchant for dictatorship is merely genetic and nothing to worry about as long as the British rule the earth, and, while I'm not entirely sure who the Blacknights are, I think I have an idea and, frankly, you're being unkind to Richmond United (TTP's Official Idiots) for lumping them in with that shower of goat's piss.


Then you came all over Martin Luther King in your last paragraph. Sickening, really, to spunk all over someone many hold in such high esteem.

Two solid efforts thus far though it should not need to be stated that this compo is not exclusively for those of an AMSL disposition. Able-bodied people are eligible to enter as well......
 

Dial 9-1-1

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Fastshow

Even though it took 2300 posts for you to find this place, the AMSL forum welcomes your presence. It's much needed. Now, if only Spazz and Striker 14 came back and gave us a play by play of their day. Spazz and Striker...I think the free memberships should be yours since you both were about to buy memberships but backed out because some jagoff pisssed you off. I think it was Yoda. Maybe it was theRob. I know it wasn't KNVB because he's a CNUT and/or TWAT and not a jagoff. ;)

By the way, Scurvy...if you're out there...We've got your YG Inc. kit ready complete with your #00. All for the low price of $35 (tax included). I still think you should have put that $$ into a premium membership. You can wear your YG kit in your match on Monday vs Cheatside. True to YG form, the final score has already been emroidered inside the shirt. Congrats!
 

Hands of Stone

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Can somebody give that Premium Membership to HOS, Mine has ended, and I have no maney to spare for a re-newal. All my money is tied up in Golf Pools, Golf Tourneys, Beer Funds, Size 1 Diapers and Size 5 Diapers. I have been off the site for just one day, I think, I did not get any stinking re-newal notice from Mr. Regs or any of his flunky's, but allready the site has gone down hill. Spelling mistakes per posts is way down, dumb jokes way way down, and the over entertainment value way up.
Please give HOS the Premium Membership so I can carry annoying the many full time moderators and members of TTP, not to mention, the site is lacking homosexual stickmen and various other gay avatars.
Plus on the Co-Ed side of things, I did score in the 15 minutes of play at the tourney, plus get kicked out of the match for taking off my shorts, how many members can say that, and not shock anyone.

HOS don't make me start using cloth Diapers :(
 

Fastshow

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Diall 9-1-1, thank you for your kind words and, believe you me, I do see what you're doing with your flattery angle. Clever. Far be it for me to say it won't work either, I'm as vain as they come (does this font make my bum look big?). Could do with a bit more, mind you.

I have to admit, sadly, that I remain completely at a loss to what, exactly, an AMSL is. I'm sure the nurse checked for it last time she did her (most painful) swabbing around the old chap but, from what I can tell, of the diseases I currently boast, AMSL is not one. It is, however, Friday night and, in London, it's anyone's guess what a man will come home with.

Or even what I'll come home with.

Are Spazz and Striker 14 fat birds? We need more fat birds on TTP, great personalities (borne of necessity), generally speaking, and loads of fun to have about the place. Take up a lot of air, mind, do fat birds. Greedy salad-dodging fatties.

HoS, once you decide whether we'd like to post in the first, third, or fifth person you're welcome to try again. Your post is the TTP equivalent of a Denman Street vagrant soaked in his own vomit and with seeping, pustulating wounds, meekly speaking a language not even he understands to the assorted boofties parading about the West End calling Dapotayto's name. At least you haven't changed.

Ring 9-1-1, maybe he could lend you his post. Failing that, just ring 9-1-1.
 

Hands of Stone

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Fastshow said:
The AMSL has very kindly offered two (shiny) Premium Memberships on TTP and the rules are simple........ tell those of us in TTP Towers why you have yet to fully support Vancouver's second-best website.

You have some nerve Fasty, it blows my mind how you can just take over a draw or contest for these AMSL Memberships.
First, how many AMSL games have you played in, mabey one, Jinky has more amsl caps than you, and you played with The Dragons, a team known to take anyone, even TheRob and knvb play there now, I have heard that the Dragons might even be the new TryHards of the League, too funny. I guess you are the Official Contest holder for TTP, because you started your Out of the Closet game, I am still in, but others have come out. Well I hope that TTP Brass, such as Dazza, step up and stop this nonsense before goes any further, we are tired of your essay contests.

hos
 

Fastshow

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Hands of Stone said:
You have some nerve Fasty, it blows my mind how you can just take over a draw or contest for these AMSL Memberships.
First, how many AMSL games have you played in, mabey one, Jinky has more amsl caps than you, and you played with The Dragons, a team known to take anyone, even TheRob and knvb play there now, I have heard that the Dragons might even be the new TryHards of the League, too funny. I guess you are the Official Contest holder for TTP, because you started your Out of the Closet game, I am still in, but others have come out. Well I hope that TTP Brass, such as Dazza, step up and stop this nonsense before goes any further, we are tired of your essay contests.

hos

Wow, you're right, HoS. Regs has still to give this compo his full royal blessing. What if he nixes it? Can you imagine? That would mean Dial 9-1-1, STD, and yourself had written in your heartfelt and earnest pleas for a TTP student loan for naught. What a pisstake that would be, eh? Can't see it happening though, this is no place for pisstakes.

When you say 'we' in, 'we are tired of your essay contests' do you mean 'we' as in more than just you or are you using the royal 'we' again? I really do worry about you, you know.

Hopefully Dazza will respond to your PM's. If he doesn't, ring him at work.

You're right, I did play one mixed match somewhere out in the middle of nowhere. Scored a goal too. I was trying so hard as well, thought for a minute I might shite myself. Jinky was in goal and Velcro Vrrrrronica was playing too. Saint was there too and he and I enjoyed twatting golf balls all afternoon as we became increasingly more mullered. Referee didn't like it and asked us to stop didn't he...... fcuking killjoy.


Anyway, your posts are becoming more and more desperate and confused and, frankly, we don't even really understand what it was you wanted in their last post.

 

Dial 9-1-1

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Therob

Thanks Throbby. Mighty big of you. Still, you and Yoda are a gold mine for material that I haven't finished tapping. Nothing personal, of course. :)
 

Spazz

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Dial 911.... where the fcuk have you been?? (must be another case of your head up your ass) as I've been back on the site for a loooong time now. The reason for my lack of posting has been/was the fact that I don't have an internet connection at home (soon though) and that the files at work piled up so high I couldn't find my computer!

And just to enlighten you I DID buy a membership though I cheaped out (though not as much as you since you're kissin ass for a free membership) and bought the "Site Supporter Membership" because of the fact I only had access while at work.... which is now even more limited.

So don't you worry about me, go back to posting about how the YG's aren't "Tryhards" in every one of your posts...

And Fastshow.... I think the term was "cow" that KNVB referred to me as.... but then again it came from a cnut so who the fcuk cares....

Spazz
 

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